After weeks of researching doctors, making appointments, blood work, registering with different healthcare systems, and meeting with doctors, it’s time for surgery. And I’m ready.
We met with a local surgeon, a team at KU Med and a surgeon at Washington University. Any one of them would probably be phenomenal. But Scott and I both knew immediately that the surgeon at Wash U was right for me. I go in Monday and if all goes well, it’s outpatient.
Timing
The most common feedback I’ve gotten on the surgery is how fast it seems. We met with Wash U on a Tuesday and surgery is scheduled for the following Monday. Under other circumstances, that does seem quick! In reality, we tapped the brakes in this process. Surgeons are prepared to move quickly on breast cancer, and I’m so thankful for that. I could’ve had surgery 2 weeks ago. But we’ve been told multiple times that my cancer is slow and not aggressive, so we didn’t need to feel rushed. I thank God for that for so many reasons. One is that we got to ask our questions, do our research and meet multiple people to find what feels the best for me.
Once surgery is done, the ball is rolling on next steps. There are decisions that can’t be undone and could impact my health for the rest of my life. I don’t want to look back and regret not asking or exploring something. So we took our time and now I’m ready.
My Surgery
I am a candidate for either a lumpectomy (removal of just the tumor, also called “breast conservation” or “partial mastectomy” depending on the doctor) or a full mastectomy (removed off all breast tissue). There are pros and cons to each, but it seems many women instinctively lean one way or the other. I am having a lumpectomy, as well as a sentinel lymph node biopsy. In addition to removing the tumor, they will map (with dye) to determine the first lymph node (the sentinel node) my breast drains to and remove it and probably another one or two to check them for cancer cells. So far ALL of my imaging looks like my lymph nodes are healthy and clear, so we are praying that is the case! If they are clear, that gives us confirmation nothing has spread outside my right breast.
I’ve never had general anesthesia, so I’m a little nervous about that. I’m drinking lots of water this weekend and filling my body with healthy fruits, veggies and other plants to prepare. I know He’s got me.
I’ll have two incisions to heal, one where they remove the tumor and one under my arm for the lymph nodes. And I’ll get to wear a super fancy hospital-issued bra for two solid weeks. Links coming soon. (Kidding! LOL!)
Feeling the Love
I’m so incredibly lucky to be surrounded by the most amazing, caring people. I’m beyond grateful, and it’s been one of the beautiful blessings from this. I am enveloped in love and lifted up in prayer. I’ve received the kindest messages, cards, gift cards to keep the fam fed after surgery and to keep me fed with nourishing food, unique and thoughtful gifts to support me, I’ve had friends pray with hands on me (“For where two or more gather in My name, I am there among them.” ~ Matthew 18:20), and I have not run out of fresh flowers since my initial diagnosis.
What’s Next
Once this piece is behind me, we focus on healing and HARD CORE prevention for the future! Along with testing my lymph nodes, they will also send the tumor off for what they call onco-type testing. It will basically tell the doctors if there’s anything aggressive or weird about it. Again, everything has looked good up to this point. Either of these things could change the next course of treatment recommend by my oncologist and that will be another story for another day. If everything comes back clean, then I’ll probably have 3-4 weeks of healing before starting 3 weeks of radiation, which I’ll do locally.
And then I’d love to say I move on and put this behind me. But I’m learning it will never truly be behind me. I’m reading a great book on healing from cancer called Chris Beat Cancer, and last night there was a line that really struck me. “Cancer cut a dividing line in your life.” Now there will be before cancer and after. I hope the next chapter is filled with freedom, radical gratitude, vibrant health and most of all complete and total trust in God’s plan for me.
This song is giving me life right now.
“I don’t want to be afraid
Every time I face the waves
I don’t want to be afraid
I don’t want to be afraid
I don’t want to fear the storm
Just because I hear it roar
I don’t want to fear the storm
I don’t want to fear the storm”
This is my hope for the future. The waves are only waves. I don’t want to fear just because I see the waves or the storm coming. Instead, I want to live in the peace of God’s promises, knowing that He’s gone before me already.
So let’s get this party started!
XO, Kelli
